Idag i skolan nämnde en av killarna något skämtsamt om sömnpiller och jag kände mig genast träffad. Jag sa inget om mina sovvanor men började direkt baka ihop ett försvarstal i huvudet. Den allmänna åsikten verkar vara att sömpiller är farliga, beroendeframkallande och något för svaga människor. Nu är jag där igen och pratar om svaga människor, men det är ju så man känner sig när halva samhället ser ner på en för att man behöver hjälp.
När jag gick till en läkare pga. mina sömnproblem (sensommaren 2009) kände jag mig som en knarkare. Som en idiot som försökte lura av läkaren ett recept. Jag trodde det skulle vara superduper svårt att få hjälp och hade faktiskt inte räknat med att någon läkare skulle ta mig på allvar. Men hur såg min situation ut då? Jag jobbade heltid på ett krävande jobb (inte så fysiskt, men rejält krävande rent psykiskt), jag sov i snitt 4 timmar per natt under veckorna och sedan 16 timmar på helgerna om jag inte blev väckt. Jag orkade inte göra något annat än att ta mig upp till jobbet, jobba och ta mig hem. Bilden här intill hade jag som bakgrund på telefonen och jag stirrade på den varje dag och försökte hitta styrkan att klara av de två första punkterna.
Jag slutade träffa mina vänner. Jag orkade inte ens höra av mig. Tappade väl hälften av mitt umgänge. Några gånger gjorde jag försök att gå på krogen eller haka på till någon fest nånstans. Men det slutade med att jag fick panikångest, satte mig i en taxi och åkte hem (á 670 kr).
Det läkaren gjorde var att skriva ut Imovane åt mig och på bara några veckor hade mitt liv gått från att vara helt jävla outhärdligt, att de kändes som jag skulle drunkna hela tiden till att det varjefall kändes som jag höll mig flytande, även om jag kämpade som en galning för att hålla mig där och klara vardagen. Och med vardag menar jag: gå upp, jobba, ta mig hem, duscha och äta något. Utöver det klarade jag ingenting. Jag grät så fort min sambo lämnade lägenheten. Jag ringde min mamma och grät i telefonen flera gånger i veckan. Utan att riktigt veta varför.
Att jag fick tillbaka kontrollen över min sömn var det som gjorde att jag klarade mig genom livet från augusti 2009 till början av oktober samma år. Då blev det ännu en sväng till en läkare eftersom jag (och människorna runt mig) insåg att jag inte levde ett värdigt liv. Att gråta när man kliver ur sängen på morgonen och sedan ställa sig framför en kamera i 2 timmar, vara superglad, proffsig, säljande och full av energi tog kål på mig. Jag grät på toaletten efter sändningarna och la all energi på att inte krascha totalt.
(fortsättning kommer i del II)
00
Pingback: Varför man inte får må dåligt (min story del 0) | Brunetten.se
I really appreciate your work , Great post.
I got what you mean , regards for putting up.Woh I am glad to find this website through google. ”I was walking down the street wearing glasses when the prescription ran out.” by Steven Wright.
Valuable information and excellent design you got here! I would like to thank you for sharing your thoughts and time into the stuff you post!! Thumbs up!
I see something truly interesting about your web blog so I saved to bookmarks .
Great write-up, I’m regular visitor of one’s site, maintain up the nice operate, and It’s going to be a regular visitor for a lengthy time. ”There is a time for departure even when there’s no certain place to go.” by Tennessee Williams.
An impressive share, I just given this onto a colleague who was doing slightly evaluation on this. And he in reality purchased me breakfast as a result of I found it for him.. smile. So let me reword that: Thnx for the treat! But yeah Thnkx for spending the time to debate this, I really feel strongly about it and love reading more on this topic. If possible, as you change into experience, would you mind updating your weblog with extra particulars? It is highly useful for me. Large thumb up for this blog put up!
As a Newbie, I am permanently exploring online for articles that can aid me. Thank you
Keep up the fantastic piece of work, I read few blog posts on this site and I conceive that your web blog is real interesting and holds bands of fantastic info .
I cling on to listening to the news bulletin talk about receiving boundless online grant applications so I have been looking around for the finest site to get one. Could you tell me please, where could i get some?
I really like your writing style, good info , thankyou for posting : D.
I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I want to express my admiration of your writing skill and ability to make reader to read the while thing to the end. I would like to read more of your blogs and to share my thoughts with you.
To achieve a great result in Seo internet advertising technique is to comprehend keywords and achieve results to create cash on-line.
Im having a tiny issue. I cant get my reader to pick-up your feed, Im using bing reader by the way.
Nicely thought out and thought provoking. Thanks for the study.
Really nice pattern and good written content, hardly anything else we need :D.
I completely agree with the above comment, the internet is with a doubt growing into the most important medium of communication across the globe and its due to sites like this that ideas are spreading so quickly.
As a site owner I believe the subject matter here is reallyfantastic. I appreciate it for your efforts. You should keep it up forever! Best of luck…
Thanks for this distinct post; this is the type of thing that keeps me on track through my workday. Been looking around for your blog after being referred to it from a buddy and was happy when I found it after googling for a while. Being a dedicated blogger, I’m excited to see others taking initivative and supporting the community. I would like to comment to show my appreciation for your work as it’s very inspiring, and many writers do not get acceptance they deserve. Will definitely come back and will recommend to others.
Hmmm interesting stuff
ohhh great data VRy fascinating to study it?
That is the correct blog for anyone who needs to find out about this topic. You notice so much its almost arduous to argue with you (not that I really would want…HaHa). You positively put a new spin on a topic thats been written about for years. Nice stuff, just nice!
Thats great, I never knew before this blog.
Thank you for the sensible critique. Me and my neighbor were just preparing to do some research about this. We got a book from our local library but I think I learned more from this post. I am very glad to see such excellent information being shared freely out there.
Thank you for showing your thoughts. Being blogger, I’m constantly searching for unique and different ways to think about a topic. I get excellent creativity in doing this. Thank you so much again
My dad told me about this site just yesterday. Great blog you’ve got!
Stanislaw Lec is known for having pronounced The first condition of immortality is death.
Hi, you used to write magnificent articles, but the last few posts have been kinda lackluster… I miss your tremendous writing. Past few posts are just a little bit out of track!
Alphonse Marie Louis de Lamartine is known for having stated that Sad is his lot who once at least in his life has not been a poet.
Im getting a little issue. I cant get my reader to pick up your feed, Im using google reader by the way.
God is with you in all that you do. – Genesis 21:22
I have to express some thanks to this writer just for rescuing me from this type of setting. As a result of browsing through the search engines and meeting concepts which were not powerful, I figured my life was over. Existing devoid of the answers to the problems you’ve fixed by way of your main short post is a crucial case, and the ones that would have badly damaged my entire career if I had not come across your blog post. That understanding and kindness in playing with all things was very helpful. I don’t know what I would have done if I hadn’t come across such a stuff like this. It’s possible to at this time look ahead to my future. Thanks for your time so much for the specialized and result oriented help. I will not hesitate to endorse the blog to any individual who will need direction on this topic.
Good post. And to be on-topic with the post, I don’t know for you girls but to me hair is really the most important factor for my look. My hair stilist on the saloon where I go offered me for about 2 months ago some kind of hair oil that will make my hair grow faster and thicker. I don’t want to spam this blog so, who wants to find more details can click on my nick name.Also my apologies for my poor english :)
My buddy and I had been just speaking about this unique problem, she is constantly wanting to prove me thoroughly mistaken! I am going to present her this blog site post to not mention rub it inside a little!
When I at first commented I clicked on the
Hey! I could have sworn I’ve been to this site before but after browsing through some of the post I realized it’s new to me. Nonetheless, I’m definitely delighted I found it and I’ll be book-marking and checking back frequently!
It is onerous to search out knowledgeable individuals on this topic, nevertheless you sound like you already know what you’re talking about! Thanks
Thanks for sharing superb informations. Your web-site is very cool. I’m impressed by the details that you¡¦ve on this blog. It reveals how nicely you understand this subject. Bookmarked this website page, will come back for extra articles. You, my friend, ROCK! I found simply the info I already searched all over the place and just could not come across. What a great site.
2 potato
Woh I enjoy your blog posts, bookmarked ! .
of course like your web-site but you have to test the spelling on quite a few of your posts. A number of them are rife with spelling problems and I find it very bothersome to tell the reality however I’ll definitely come back again.
Hey There. I discovered your weblog the usage of msn. This is a very smartly written article. I will make sure to bookmark it and come back to read extra of your helpful information. Thank you for the post. I will certainly return.
I found your weblog web site on google and test a few of your early posts. Proceed to keep up the superb operate. I just extra up your RSS feed to my MSN Information Reader. In search of ahead to studying more from you in a while!…
heya. I see you are interested in hair growth tips
Great post, keep up the great posts!
It is appropriate time to make some plans for the future and it is time to be happy. I’ve read this post and if I could I wish to suggest you some interesting things or advice. Perhaps you could write next articles referring to this article. I wish to read even more things about it!
hi. I observe you are interested in hair growth tips
Howdy would you mind letting me know which hosting company you’re utilizing? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 different internet browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot quicker then most. Can you recommend a good web hosting provider at a honest price? Many thanks, I appreciate it!
I’d have got to check with anyone here. Which isn’t something I usually do! I enjoy reading a post that will get people to think. Also, thanks for enabling me to help comment!
Great original post, I wish I could find more posts on this topic presented in a similar manner.
I just want to tell you that I am just beginner to weblog and actually loved you’re website. More than likely I’m going to bookmark your website . You absolutely have outstanding posts. Bless you for sharing your blog.
A piece of erdiution unlike any other!
Pingback: Min story (del II) | Brunetten.se
Det finns en jätteintressant artikelserie i aftonbladet om psykvården. De efterlyser läsarnas upplevelser. DU borde skriva till dom, som törs att vara öppen om det, har talets gåva och har upplevt det mesta, både bra och dåligt… KRAM
<3
Tack!